Love isn't a transaction.....

Relationship, if we allow it, can be a process of self-revelation; but since we do not allow it, relationship becomes merely a gratifying activity. As long as the mind merely uses relationship for its own security, that relationship is bound to create confusion and antagonism. Is it possible to live in relationship without the idea of demand, want or gratification? Which means, is it possible to love without the interference of the mind? We love with the mind, our hearts are filled with the things of the mind, but the fabrications of the mind cannot be love. You cannot think about love. You can think about the person whom you love, but that thought is not love, and so gradually thought takes the place of love. When the mind becomes supreme, all-important, obviously there can be no affection. We have filled our hearts with the things of the mind, and the things of the mind are essentially ideas – what should be, and what should not be. Can relationship be based on an idea? If it is, is it not a self-enclosing activity and therefore inevitable that there should be contention, strife, and misery? But if the mind does not interfere, it is not erecting a barrier, it is not disciplining suppressing or sublimating itself. This is extremely difficult, because it is not through determination, practice or discipline, that the mind can cease to interfere; the mind will cease to interfere only when there is full comprehension of its own process. Then only is it possible to have right relationship with the one and with the many, free of contention and discord.